OK, a certain person doesnt ring or write and the text message I got.... UPDATE YOUR BLOG!! hehehe
Well things are alot better, yes was reading into things that were not there. Since then, I have been in hospital having some surgery from where I had my first son Jack. Ohhhh it hurts, but everyone calls me MAry now lol.
Off work for a while longer, another 4 weeks in fact, and ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW !ST JANUARY
Guess how old????? yep thats right 26 lol
Anyway, I am off now as I cannot sit for long in one spot hehehehehehe. But I am wishing everyone a Happy New Year and hoping 2008 is good for you all.
Monday, 31 December 2007
Monday, 22 October 2007
Questions so many questions
Ok, I know I have not written on here for a while. Dont know who else to speak to, my world is a little upside down at the moment.
A few weeks ago Rick stepped over the flirting bowndaries with someone infront of me, after flirting rather prevocatively he went up to her and kissed her on the lips. A few weeks later I noticed him nuzzling from behind her in the shop.
A few days later he tells me he isnt ready for marriage and doesnt want to marry me!!
What am I thinking??? I feel fat, and unloved, I dont know if he is doing the same to me as he was his ex partner. Maybe I just feel so insecure with myself, you see, this girl is young and has a great figure.
Why am I saying this all now, because he told me he was working late, I have tried calling him at the shop, no reply and his mobile, no reply, I have also text him, no reply.
Am I just reading into this because I feel so low about myself, my self esteem completely non existant at present, or am I being Nieve? I do so love him, and I am still in love with him, I thought I trusted him, but things over the last month have been a little bit of a roller coaster ride and I dont know whether I am coming or going.
The stupid thing is, I expect I would have him back even if he did have an afair. Oh god, I wish someone could give me the answers.
A few weeks ago Rick stepped over the flirting bowndaries with someone infront of me, after flirting rather prevocatively he went up to her and kissed her on the lips. A few weeks later I noticed him nuzzling from behind her in the shop.
A few days later he tells me he isnt ready for marriage and doesnt want to marry me!!
What am I thinking??? I feel fat, and unloved, I dont know if he is doing the same to me as he was his ex partner. Maybe I just feel so insecure with myself, you see, this girl is young and has a great figure.
Why am I saying this all now, because he told me he was working late, I have tried calling him at the shop, no reply and his mobile, no reply, I have also text him, no reply.
Am I just reading into this because I feel so low about myself, my self esteem completely non existant at present, or am I being Nieve? I do so love him, and I am still in love with him, I thought I trusted him, but things over the last month have been a little bit of a roller coaster ride and I dont know whether I am coming or going.
The stupid thing is, I expect I would have him back even if he did have an afair. Oh god, I wish someone could give me the answers.
Tuesday, 3 July 2007
Back Again
Someone in particular, is moaning yet again that I am not updating my blog enough, so here I am!!!
Well life is getting better and better. Rick is now the new store partner for Hein Gericke UK in Southampton. He is loveling it and I must admit, i love working there at weekends aswell. Life is hectic, looking after the kids and doing a full time job (sales Co-ordinator) aswell as working weekends with Rick aswell as doing his books and payroll.
I am hoping to get a new bike next year, a bright orange ZX6. hehehehehehe that would go well with someone uniform!! Have not got out much on my baby so far this year, not witht he awfull weather we have been having, but fingers crossed it will brighton up soon.
Anyway I have to rush, need to hoover the house up, and do the ironing, its the only chance I get nowadays.
xx
Well life is getting better and better. Rick is now the new store partner for Hein Gericke UK in Southampton. He is loveling it and I must admit, i love working there at weekends aswell. Life is hectic, looking after the kids and doing a full time job (sales Co-ordinator) aswell as working weekends with Rick aswell as doing his books and payroll.
I am hoping to get a new bike next year, a bright orange ZX6. hehehehehehe that would go well with someone uniform!! Have not got out much on my baby so far this year, not witht he awfull weather we have been having, but fingers crossed it will brighton up soon.
Anyway I have to rush, need to hoover the house up, and do the ironing, its the only chance I get nowadays.
xx
Thursday, 17 May 2007
Moan Moan
OK Im having a particular person moaning cause I am not keeping up with my blog. So here I am.
Job is great, I have made some good mates both in work and away. Then, just as we sold our car to pay off some of Ricks Bike Rick rolled it and wrote it off. We are still waiting for his consultants job to come through should be in the next few months, fingers crossed.
I had to cope for the first time ever with one of my children having Knits!!!! Not fun, I spent an hour cleaning her hair, and then a week later..... yep you guest it she had it again.
Got a few busy weeks coming up with traveling up and down the country. But at least im not sitting at home moping.
Anyway, I promise (and honestly I have not got my fingers crossed) I will keep this up to date. Will let you know how the weekend went, and maybe post some pics.
Job is great, I have made some good mates both in work and away. Then, just as we sold our car to pay off some of Ricks Bike Rick rolled it and wrote it off. We are still waiting for his consultants job to come through should be in the next few months, fingers crossed.
I had to cope for the first time ever with one of my children having Knits!!!! Not fun, I spent an hour cleaning her hair, and then a week later..... yep you guest it she had it again.
Got a few busy weeks coming up with traveling up and down the country. But at least im not sitting at home moping.
Anyway, I promise (and honestly I have not got my fingers crossed) I will keep this up to date. Will let you know how the weekend went, and maybe post some pics.
Saturday, 21 April 2007
DEEPER & DEEPER
Well, nothing ever seems to go right for me and mine. Yes I got a new job, then Rick lost his, trying to get out of the difficult we got into when I was not working, soon as we see a light at the end of the tunnel something else happens.!!!
I took my sons kitten to the vets last night and found out she had Cat Flu, I was told that she could recover as she is young, however after 3 days in pet hospital I would have to bring her home and although my other cats are vacinated they could get it and the two old ones wouldnt survive it. I was then told that just last night was going to cost me £150, the weekend treatment would make it to £300 and then the specialist food and other injections she will need to get over it will mean the bill would come to over £600!! Ok financialy I have not got that kind of money, at my old vets they used to let me pay monthly, but these guys at Pet SMart wouldnt even hear of it. Do you know what they said to me??? "if you cant afford the treatment then we will either stop treatment and put her down or you will have to sign her over to the Cat protection Society. What choice did I have??? So I said goodbye to her and came home crying my eyes out. I am not an irrisponsible cat owner, I have had cats for 16 years with no problems, and they are still healthy, he looked down his nose at me. The lady at the cat protection legue was fantastic, understood my problem and offered to take over the care of her and pay for the vets bill. But it still means I have lost my kitten and will never see her ever again. As you can understand I am broken hearted, i cant stop crying, and as for my son the only option I have so as he doesnt hate me and for him to have closure is for me to tell him his kitten has died!! Not looking forward to it!!
Why oh why can I not have some luck in my life?????
I took my sons kitten to the vets last night and found out she had Cat Flu, I was told that she could recover as she is young, however after 3 days in pet hospital I would have to bring her home and although my other cats are vacinated they could get it and the two old ones wouldnt survive it. I was then told that just last night was going to cost me £150, the weekend treatment would make it to £300 and then the specialist food and other injections she will need to get over it will mean the bill would come to over £600!! Ok financialy I have not got that kind of money, at my old vets they used to let me pay monthly, but these guys at Pet SMart wouldnt even hear of it. Do you know what they said to me??? "if you cant afford the treatment then we will either stop treatment and put her down or you will have to sign her over to the Cat protection Society. What choice did I have??? So I said goodbye to her and came home crying my eyes out. I am not an irrisponsible cat owner, I have had cats for 16 years with no problems, and they are still healthy, he looked down his nose at me. The lady at the cat protection legue was fantastic, understood my problem and offered to take over the care of her and pay for the vets bill. But it still means I have lost my kitten and will never see her ever again. As you can understand I am broken hearted, i cant stop crying, and as for my son the only option I have so as he doesnt hate me and for him to have closure is for me to tell him his kitten has died!! Not looking forward to it!!
Why oh why can I not have some luck in my life?????
Sunday, 25 March 2007
Relaxing
I had forgotten what weekends actualy meant until now. When the weekend comes I know I get a lie in, relaxation time and I dont have to think! (much anyway) Apart from the washing, ironing, cleaning and feeding I can relax and enjoy. In fact next weekend is going to be even better, the ex is picking the kids up on Friday and having them all weekend, the kids have not seen him for a month as he has been off in south africa on holiday!! (mmm and pays me £50 a week for 3 kids)(not bad for someone who only claims to the CSA he is on $250 a week!!) Actualy whilst we are on the subject it still really gets my goat.
He has claimed poverty from the word go, I kept my dignity in the divorce as I let him have everything he wanted...£20k from the house, the galaxy car which he sold for £10k, my shares for the company which were worth over £30k and the company itself. What did he end up with, A jacuzi in the back garden, a brand new house with his design inside, A projection tv, computerised house with cctv, A brand new lotus, designer clothes (I am talking £100 a pair of jeans) and so far in the last year he has had 9 holidays abroad, places like South Africa, New York, Prague let alone Spain, Tenerife, France. And he told the CSA he was earning £250 a week so they allocated him to pay me £50 towards the keep of the children, thats not each thats for ALL three. I have no feelings whats so ever for him, I am not jelous of what he has ( in my opinion I have alot more, I am in love and loved by a wonderful man and I have a home and my children)(not all in that order I may add) It just realy grates me to think he can get away will lieing again when it comes down to money. Thats all the man ever used to really love...Money!
OK I am getting off me soap box..... Looking forward to next weekend as it means I can get out on my bike if the weather picks up. And myself and Rick get some our time.
Had a good weekend this week, my brother came down, its been nice seeing him, we had a little spat a few months ago and havnt really had much to do with each other, so it was nice seeing and spending time with him again.
Really loving my job, I have been there 4 weeks now and I dont wake up in the morning thinking "Oh God I have to go to work" The people are great and the work is varied, never the same each day. (still like my weekends better though) Maybe its just because I appreciate them more now.
Oh well another week ahead, then the kids break up for easter, I do hope the school club is running, or Im stuffed!!!
He has claimed poverty from the word go, I kept my dignity in the divorce as I let him have everything he wanted...£20k from the house, the galaxy car which he sold for £10k, my shares for the company which were worth over £30k and the company itself. What did he end up with, A jacuzi in the back garden, a brand new house with his design inside, A projection tv, computerised house with cctv, A brand new lotus, designer clothes (I am talking £100 a pair of jeans) and so far in the last year he has had 9 holidays abroad, places like South Africa, New York, Prague let alone Spain, Tenerife, France. And he told the CSA he was earning £250 a week so they allocated him to pay me £50 towards the keep of the children, thats not each thats for ALL three. I have no feelings whats so ever for him, I am not jelous of what he has ( in my opinion I have alot more, I am in love and loved by a wonderful man and I have a home and my children)(not all in that order I may add) It just realy grates me to think he can get away will lieing again when it comes down to money. Thats all the man ever used to really love...Money!
OK I am getting off me soap box..... Looking forward to next weekend as it means I can get out on my bike if the weather picks up. And myself and Rick get some our time.
Had a good weekend this week, my brother came down, its been nice seeing him, we had a little spat a few months ago and havnt really had much to do with each other, so it was nice seeing and spending time with him again.
Really loving my job, I have been there 4 weeks now and I dont wake up in the morning thinking "Oh God I have to go to work" The people are great and the work is varied, never the same each day. (still like my weekends better though) Maybe its just because I appreciate them more now.
Oh well another week ahead, then the kids break up for easter, I do hope the school club is running, or Im stuffed!!!
Sunday, 11 March 2007
Weekend
Well, its Sunday, I have been at my new job now for two weeks and Rick has been out of work for a week, money is as tight as ever, people banging on the door for money, mortgage not paid again this month!!! (oops) but do you know what?????
Today was great!!!!!
We have been stripping a mates Fireblade down as he has not got time to mend it, got my hands dirty, and then decided to leave Rick to it (the cleaning part lol) as the weather was soo nice decided to take my betty out for a run. OMG!!!! I remember now why i love riding so much. Got on the dual carriageway between Poole and Upton and had to give it a good run, to blow the cob webs out and make it fire on four cyclinders again (bearing in mind she hasnt been rode for 4-5 months) before I knew it I was doing over a 100. Wooohoooo what fun!"!!!! Its scary how easily you end up speeding on my little baby but Ohhhh it felt good, almost as good as...... (I did say almost) The old commardory of bikers was about, every biker nodded and acknowledged (there were alot of us out) The sun beating down on me as I became one with Betty once more. Cant waite for Rick to get another bike when the insurance pays out so as we can go riding together, must admit felt guilty putting the leathers on and leaving him at home (only for a second though) once I got down the road the guilt had passed lol.
What do you think about when riding??? Nothing!!!!! all your troubles and worries seem to disapear, you concentrate on the road and the bike and enjoy....... Thats why I love riding so much,it doesnt matter how skint you are, whats going wrong in your life (not much is at the moment apart from money like everyone) your troubles go and you listen to the wind as it goes through your lid... Thats my heavon. Ohh cant waite for more weekends with this weather!!!
Today was great!!!!!
We have been stripping a mates Fireblade down as he has not got time to mend it, got my hands dirty, and then decided to leave Rick to it (the cleaning part lol) as the weather was soo nice decided to take my betty out for a run. OMG!!!! I remember now why i love riding so much. Got on the dual carriageway between Poole and Upton and had to give it a good run, to blow the cob webs out and make it fire on four cyclinders again (bearing in mind she hasnt been rode for 4-5 months) before I knew it I was doing over a 100. Wooohoooo what fun!"!!!! Its scary how easily you end up speeding on my little baby but Ohhhh it felt good, almost as good as...... (I did say almost) The old commardory of bikers was about, every biker nodded and acknowledged (there were alot of us out) The sun beating down on me as I became one with Betty once more. Cant waite for Rick to get another bike when the insurance pays out so as we can go riding together, must admit felt guilty putting the leathers on and leaving him at home (only for a second though) once I got down the road the guilt had passed lol.
What do you think about when riding??? Nothing!!!!! all your troubles and worries seem to disapear, you concentrate on the road and the bike and enjoy....... Thats why I love riding so much,it doesnt matter how skint you are, whats going wrong in your life (not much is at the moment apart from money like everyone) your troubles go and you listen to the wind as it goes through your lid... Thats my heavon. Ohh cant waite for more weekends with this weather!!!
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